COUNSELOR BOOK REVIEWS
Recommended Books by Susan Shipp, LPC
Yerkovich, Milan & Kay (2008).
How We Love. Colorado Springs: Waterbrook Press.
Quite often sexual problems arise because of deeper issues. Rather than focusing at first on the sexual problem, it is often beneficial to begin with marital communication and intimacy patterns (love styles). How We Love is based on attachment theory and helps people understand how early life experiences create an “imprint” that shapes current life choices, beliefs, and expectations. The authors begin with a single foundational question, “Can you recall a time as a child when you were upset and someone comforted you?" From there they identify the major love styles—avoider, pleaser, vacillator, controller/victim. Individuals working through this book can learn to identify their own personal love style and understand how it affects their mate. As they begin to break free of negative patterns, emotional and sexual intimacy will have a chance to grow. The book comes with a workbook to be used be either groups or individuals.
Hart, Archibald, & Morris, Sharron (2003). Safe Haven Marriage. Nashville: Tomas Nelson.
Because sexual problems are often secondary to relational problems, it is helpful to address marital communication styles and any negative patterns that have developed. Safe Haven Marriage examines the factors that make a marriage a safe haven: trust, emotional availability, and sensitive responsiveness. The authors then discuss obstacles to a safe haven marriage, including negative communication patterns and the effects of the four basic attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, fearful). As couples discover their attachment styles and communication patterns that leave them disconnected, especially the “Four Horsemen” of contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling, they can identify the tools they need to make their marriage a place of emotional safety. While this book is aimed more at couples, it could work in a group setting, and most of the chapters have questions for reflection at the end.
While these books are similar, they can be used in different situations, depending on the client. The first can be used for relationships in general, while the second focuses on the marital relationship. Both can help people understand that it’s not so much the conflicts that cause problems, but rather, the unhealthy ways they handle those conflicts. The question about comfort (in How We Love) often strikes a chord in clients, leading them to begin changing their thinking. Likewise the idea of having a safe haven marriage can also serve as a wake up call to couples.
Susan is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Mental Health Service Provider in the state of Tennessee, holding a Master's in Counseling Psychology. She is a Board Certified Christian Sex Therapist, National Certified Counselor and member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. Susan is also a certified teacher of Active Parenting Classes. She and her husband, Garry, have three grown children and four grandchildren.
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Salida Brooks, M.A. Counseling
The Power of Evil and the Hope for Healing
by Neil Anderson
“But one shadow did not stir with the wind as did the tree shadows, and neither did it stand still as did the building shadows. It crawled, quivered, moved along the street toward the church…” (Peretti, 2003, p. 11). Though we do not know exactly what demons look like, Frank Peretti’s fictional work about the presence of demons and angels at work in the world provides an eerie description of the powerful force that are blind to the human eye. Neil Anderson’s (2001) book The Bondage Breaker takes an in-depth look at the effects of the spiritual world on our lives and the lives of those we counsel. His acknowledgement of the impact of the spiritual realm on the physical and mental health of human beings is a valuable contribution to a Christian model of counseling.
The existence and power of spiritual forces
Anderson warns that demons are not just a thing of the past: “Wrestling against dark spiritual forces is not a first-century phenomenon, nor is it merely optional for the Christian today. The kingdom of darkness is still present, and the devil still ‘prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour’ (1 Peter 5.8, 9 NKJV)” (2000, p. 20). This acknowledgment of the destructive forces seeking to destroy lives plays a major role in the development of a Christian model of counseling. Anderson recognizes that it is not just chemicals and brain function that contribute to the problems people face.
Psychology, spiritual forces, and mental health
However, in his examination of the effects of demonic forces on the lives of individuals, Anderson does not discount the fact that people have psychological problems as well. He makes clear the fact that mental health is affected by both psychological and spiritual factors. Anderson believes that problems are always psychological because humans have minds and are affected by the way they think and the balance of chemicals in their brains. However, Anderson also states that mental problems are also always spiritual because God is always working in the lives of men (2000, p. 21).
Overcoming the forces of darkness
Anderson acknowledges the power of evil in the world, but he does not just leave it at that. Instead, he proposes a way to overcome the attacks of demonic forces by acknowledging and repenting of sin and committing to living a life devoted to truth. He proposes a seven-step process in which Christians renounce counterfeit beliefs, repent of believing the lies of the devil, renounce bitterness, rebellion, pride, personal bondage to sin, and the bondage of their ancestors to sin (2000). Anderson points out that it is not the power of the person that brings about healing. He writes that “[God] must change us in response to our submission to Him in faith” (p. 155). It is only through total submission to God and reliance on the power of the Holy Spirit that God can deliver people from the effects of demonic forces.
In his book Psychology, Theology and Spirituality in Christian Counseling, McMinn supports Anderson’s belief that the Holy Spirit has the power to change lives when he writes, “Entering deeply into the spiritual life requires us to abandon sin-management and to seek inner transformation through the work of the Holy Spirit” (1996, p. 135). McMinn, like Anderson, makes clear that the existence of sin and evil is not the end of the story, but that God works through the Holy Spirit to defeat evil and guide Christians in living lives that are pleasing to Him. In order for Christians to be transformed by God, they must renounces the forces of darkness in their lives and submit to God’s power to bring about healing.
ReferencesAnderson, N. T. (2000). The bondage breaker. Eugene, OR: Harvest House.
McMinn, M. (1996). Psychology, theology and spirituality in Christian counseling. Wheaton, IL: Tyndal House.
Peretti, F. (2003) This present darkness. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.
Salida Brooks, M.A., Counseling
Salida holds a Master of Arts degree in Counseling from Liberty University. She is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors and has experience treating adolescents and young adults dealing with depression and bipolar disorder, self-harming issues, anxiety, physical and sexual abuse, family and relationship struggles, low self-esteem, anger and aggression. Her passion is ministering to the hearts of hurting people through biblically based counseling. She is married to Craig and they have one daughter.
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